Guest Blog: Marmalade Boots, Sixteen Things This California City Girl Has Learned About Country Living

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MC Note: Because sometimes it takes fresh perspective to appreciate the very true and very funny aspects of this crazy, wonderful life. And great friends too, thanks lady. Enjoy, commiserate, laugh out loud (I did all of these).

  • Regardless of how slow they may be driving, don’t even think about tailgating anyone within a 30-mile radius of your home. Chances are they know who you are and where you live.  It makes for awkward encounters down the road.
  • Figure out where the hell your cardinal points lie or forever doom yourself to a lifetime of incredulous looks when you ask “which way is North?” Something I am still working on.
  • The sun rises and sets behind the wheels of a cattle truck. Who knew?
  • It is possible to feel compassion and respect towards an animal and also have strong urges to eat it.
  • Get yourself a good dog. It will be the best thing that has ever happened to you. This one goes for city folk too.
  • It is really fun to say the phrase “city folk”. Just rolls off the tongue.
  • Despite preconceived notions of being an animal rights supporter, when a rabbit eats your carefully cultivated sweet peas or a skunk sprays your dog, bloodlust will take hold.
  • Calf nuts taste like McDonalds’ chicken nuggets. I’m not sure if this bodes well for calf nuts or poorly for McDonalds.
  • When a bull chases you, you better run. FAST.
  • Driving 30 minutes to the nearest town, population 1500, is known as “going to town”. Driving 2 hours to Bozeman, population 40,000, is known as “the big city”.
  • When spring arrives, expect to get bucked off your horse at least three times. I await this coming April with stoic trepidation. Skittles, bring it.
  • Learn to operate a tractor or forever be uncool.
  • When it’s -20 below outside your nostrils stick together. It’s a weird sensation.
  • Learn to make your own indian, thai, mexican, chinese, ethiopian, italian and japanese food, cuz you ain’t gettin’ any otherwise. Add thin crust pizza to the list also.
  • Watch the animals. They know how to live.
  • Have a friend like Sophi. Someone who keeps you connected, spirited, and sane. Right back at you lady!

 

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